Despite not originally having the particular date in mind, our wedding ceremony took place on January 1, 2015. My parents and sister came to Yichun, along with some of my friends and coworkers who were already in China. That gave us about a dozen people on the groom’s side, while the remainder of the 200 guests would be the bride’s.

KK and I had decided on a hybrid American/Chinese ceremony, with decorations in red and dark blue. As per Chinese tradition, it would officially start at 12:08 PM (lucky number 8) with lunch served in a combined ceremony/reception. I had already attended many weddings in China, so I already knew the drill, but ours would come with a twist.

That morning, we got ready separately with our respective groomsmen/bridesmaids, with our old friends Michael and Justine serving as best man and matron of honor/translator. Getting ready for me involved getting dressed (starting in a dark blue suit with tie) and having breakfast, but I imagine the process was a bit more involved for KK (white dress).

I was to show up at KK’s parents’ house (couldn’t stay there overnight this time, but my family’s hotel was just a few minutes’ walk down the road) and attempt to convince her bridesmaids to open her bedroom door and let me in. This involved answering some embarrassing questions and the application of some small red envelopes in addition to muscle power.

Once inside, we found the bride could not leave without her shoes, which were hidden in the room. My groomsmen helped me search, but one clumsily brushed against the bride’s dress, resulting in him being punished by needing to perform a number of push-ups.

Once the shoes were located, I carried her out of her room and to the front door, then downstairs where the traditional train of cars awaited – a red sedan replacing the traditional sedan chair. These delivered us to our venue across the river.

We had a nice blue sky and it was relatively warm for January – we couldn’t ask for much better. At the venue, we took pictures and greeted the guests as they arrived, the most striking arrival being the coach bus full of extended family from the old hometown.

After greetings, we got the ceremony started western-style, with me waiting up front with the preacher, our moms walking in together, followed by the bridesmaids and groomsmen, a flower girl and ring bearer, and finally KK and her dad. We went through the standard introduction and vows, mixed some blue and red sand together, then rings and kiss.

We withdrew at that point to change into our Chinese clothes (red/gold dress and black Chinese suit) for the second part of the ceremony. At this point, our parents sat on stage, and we each offered a cup of tea to our new parents-in-law, calling them “Mom” and “Dad” for the first time. Our fathers then each gave an emotional speech, and we all toasted.

The speaking parts over, it was now time for us to go around to toast at every table and receive congratulations from all the guests. KK had to explain who most of them were, but we made it through just fine.

It was also a tradition for the groom to have a drink with each of his new uncles, but that meant baijiu rice liquor, and I can’t take even one glass of that, much less the near-dozen needed to get through all of my father-in-law’s brothers. Fortunately, my dad stepped up and saved face for me, which I thanked him for when I next saw him the following day after having slept it off.

Despite a banquet accompanying the ceremony, the two of us had little to eat, though we weren’t particularly hungry, anyway. I’ve always wondered how in a country of such delicious foods, Chinese wedding meals tend to not be very tasty, but I guess that can apply to some traditional foods in any culture. Someday KK will have to try lutefisk.

While I’m thinking about it, I’ve always been somewhat surprised at the different level of formality in Chinese weddings, too. I wore a suit to the first one I attended, and managed to out-dress the groom. Few men would think to wear a tie, KK’s dad included among the majority. These men contrast all the more with the bride, who always has a big white dress (despite the red and gold dresses being much more awesome).

I’m sure in many cases there is more formality during other parts of the day besides the ceremony that they’ve invited all their friends to, but it still manages to catch me off-guard. All things considered, though, semi-formal lunchtime combined ceremony/receptions are all right in my book.

Once everyone had regrouped the next day, we went with my family to see a bit of Shanghai and Suzhou before they flew out. It was my sister’s first time in China, though my parents had been before. I’d already visited Suzhou and recommended the Stone Lions Forest – a bit different from the other traditional gardens.

Our actual honeymoon was to Xiamen a few weeks later. Not exactly a tropical paradise, at least not in January, but it’s a nice city that I wouldn’t mind revisiting sometime. I just don’t know if I can handle enough seafood to live in a coastal city.

Once we passed Spring Festival and returned to work, it became all too apparent that we were still living in two cities three hours apart by train. Although the high-speed train was completed around this time, the new station was on the far side of the city from my school, rendering the total travel times about equal. I would finish up my master’s degree in the U.S. that summer, and after five years in Nanchang it was time to make a change.